The Butterfly Effect

Holy Freaking Cow! That is all I can really say right now. I just had butterflies in my stomach for the first time since I can even remember. They practically blind-sided me because when I woke this morning, I had no intention, or knowledge, of running into an old friend from college. The phone call came from out of the blue, the coincidences that brought our paths to a crossroads came from out of the blue, the connections that were made in mutual friends were out of the blue. The whole night just stood me right in the face from out of the blue. Here I am thinking that I am going to have to try really hard to find some really awesome girl that the Lord wants for me, and I may already have a prime prospect that knows the truest parts of me. Now, I am not saying that this one interaction is leading me down the aisle, but life does have a funny way of opening up new doors, that were once thought to be closed. The best part is is that I wasn't even looking to have these butterflies until after the New Year when I could control the circumstances that caused the fluttering. I had no control over this day and the fact that I have to wake in four hours to go to work and I still felt the need to enscribe my thoughts now means that something beyond me has overtaken my whole self. For anyone reading this, please don't take this to mean, "Oh, he must be in love." But rather, take it as a reminder that the start of any pursuit follows no format, and no rules. True romance is rooted in spontaneity and I am willling to follow wherever that spontaneity leads me, be it down this path from tonight, or one yet to be revealed.

In any case, I am thankful to have someone like this in my life- someone that I can truly say is an Amazing Woman, even if she may, or may not be the one set out for me. I can only hope that if she is not, then the one who is will have even just one half of the greatness that this one does.

Sweet Reminders

The past couple weeks have proven to be a positive testament to why it is that I wanted to come out to California in the first place. Sure, it may seem like a lofty pursuit to some, but the acting opportunities I have had recently have reminded me that this is truly what I want to be doing. Even last night, as I sat in the audience of a screening for George Clooney's, Michael Clayton, at the Academy ot Television Arts and Sciences, this overwhelming sensation of me seeing myself on stage answering the Q and A's came upon me. It is a career that is so rewarding because you truly get to do exactly what it is you want to do. As an actor, I get to be a storyteller. In the process, I get to do some pretty amazing things. Just two weeks ago, I was a middle-aged German Professor (pix to L) in a production of Little Women in North Hollywood and found myself revived by the excitement of live theatre. I am ready to do more and am working it out with my current job to be more available for those pursuits. Clooney said it best last night when he mentioned that artists are willing to work for whatever the pay, even if it is free, because they are dedicated to the process. I believe that to be true in that the feeling I have from doing the play, as well as, the short film this past weekend, is strong enough to supercede the fact that I didn't get paid for either. The short film entitled, Texas Girl, brought another sweet reminder as I was in Taft, CA- i.e. the middle of nowhere- shooting this AFI film with a Director from Korea, a Cinematographer from Germany, an Editor from New York, actors from Colorado, and a Producer from New Orleans. That reminder was 'This is exactly what I want to be doing. I want to be shooting films. I want to be on location meeting amazing artists who are dedicated to touching the human soul through the artistry of film." Even today, as I sit and type this, I am preparing to go to a callback for an MSN internet commercial and growing ever-excited about the possibilities that it may bring.

CLOSING THOUGHT-

Let us hold tight to the sweet reminders of what our heart's truest desires are and use them to carry us through the tough moments leading up to the career of our dreams.